Astronaut Monkey

Share this deal on:
Share by Email
Would you like to sell Astronaut Monkey?

Dry Flies Product Information

This Monkey (named "Gordo") was used by the Soviet Space Program for 3 years.

He's a little skittish, but is a very tenacious and durable fellow. Should hold up well for any interstellar or subortbital testing.

Gordo will be hand-delivered by his handler, Landon for a flat rate of $1,200.00 USD to the continental United States. Please contact with international inquiries.

QUESTION: Does this space monkey come with his Astronaut suit

ANSWER: Gorgo comes with two standard-issue Советская космическая программа Class III suborbital space suits and a pair of Spiderman fleece pajamas (which are his preferred base layer for use beneath his space suit). I'm not sure what your intended use for Gordo is, but if you're considering orbital or interstellar operations, these Class III spacesuits won't be adequate. If that's what you're looking for, I'd recommend looking under the "auto parts" section of ebay.ru for a Class IV Cокол suit (size 'Primate M' if offered) or above, which are more than capable of sustaining mammalian life in anything short of extended space walks.

QUESTION: Is Gordo familiar with the operations of US made space craft or only Russian

ANSWER: Gordo is only certified for operation of Soviet Space Program (Советская космическая программа) craft class V and below. That being said, he is very trainable, and I don't doubt he could quickly become proficient with any limited-accessibility analogue control interface. He'd be an ideal candidate for an Apollo-class craft.

QUESTION: Will Gordo require Russian food or will he be able to adjust to American food

ANSWER: Gordo generally performs best when his diet consists of no less than 80% traditional soviet military rationing. He's been trained to function under suboptimal nutritional conditions, though his stamina and cognitive abilities will suffer in proportion to the percentage of diet which is comprised of foreign nutrition. Also, it should be noted that it is highly recommended that oily or fatty rations be avoided, as Gordo's glands and hair follicles no longer function properly after an extended exposure to Cobalt-60 in an operation a few years back, and if eaten in excess, could result in toxic buildup of subdermal oils. His favorite meal is lean pork pelmeny and draniky.

QUESTION: since this monkey is posted in the fly fishing section would it be unethical or inhumane to teach it to tie flies in a sweatshop style environment while blasting Russian propaganda music

ANSWER:

QUESTION: since this monkey is posted in the fly fishing section would it be unethical or inhumane to teach it to tie flies in a sweatshop style environment while blasting Russian propaganda music

ANSWER:

QUESTION: Since my previous monkey, Christopher, absconded with my only operable Советская космическая программа craft class V and below when he went in search of his squeeze in the vicinity of Uranus. How do you think he will do with a bitchin 1976 Jeep J20 4x4 with a 6.6l 4bl naturally aspirated, automatic transmission, power steering and power brake with factory air

ANSWER:

QUESTION: Since my previous monkey, Christopher, absconded with my only operable Советская космическая программа craft class V and below when he went in search of his squeeze in the vicinity of Uranus. How do you think he will do with a bitchin 1976 Jeep J20 4x4 with a 6.6l 4bl naturally aspirated, automatic transmission, power steering and power brake with factory air

ANSWER:

SOLD OUT!!

Price
$388.60
Retail Price:
$300000
100% off Retail
Item:
352299

Brand:

South American

Model:

Squirrel Monkey

Category:

Dry Flies

Type:
Used
Size:
28
Gender:
Men
Condition:
New
Quantity:
0
Seller Rating
Seller:
Thebadmintonking
Rating:
not yet rated. 
Avg. Ship:
n/a
Shipping Rate
Flat Rate: $400


GearTrade.com is an Upfront Merchant on TheFind. Click for info.